The Hidden Files of a Devil Hunter
by Lady of Insainity
Summary: Random stories of Demon hunters in DMC. R&R please! Rated for language.


**The Hidden Files of a Devil Hunter**

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I don't own any of the characters of Devil May Cry_ _or any of the monsters. OC's are mine._

I decided to start a Devil May Cry fic. Basically, just random adventures of Dante, Virgil, Nero, Trish, Lady, Lucia, Kyrie, and my OC Maria. They will be OOC, I can guarantee that(as I haven't played DMC2 or 4 yet, actually, I haven't played 3 ether, but I've watched the anime).

Notice that I said Virgil? Yep, he's going to be in this fic, as a DMC humor fic can't be complete without the two sons of Sparta (it can, but it makes it a hell of a lot funnier).

And before I start, I'm asking you, the reader, for a favor (two actually). First, I ask that you guys send me some ideas for future chapters. And second, I'd like to ask for some help naming two new characters. They're Artic wolves, and they can't talk. Here's a little of their back story, trying not to reveal the any major plot points of my other fic KMH (this part of the story is in part 3):

They were born near the northern town, Rikka, where Maria, her sister Mari, and her Aunt Kari once lived. Many battles, most of which were of life and death, occurred seven years before. Once they were old enough to be taught to, their mother brought them on a hunt, unknown to her, it would be her last. She was killed by (spoiler) shortly before she caught her prey (a rabbit). Maria, who was there (along with other people) fought with (spoiler) and managed to survive. As she has a maternal instinct, she took in the pups and now refers to them as her children. The female (which I might name Artica, as it sounds cool), is very loyal to her "mother". She growls at most people and sometimes bites them (Dante being one of those people, but he thinks that Maria taught her that). She has some scaring from fighting a few demons, most noticeably, the one on her eye (think of Kakashi's or Red XIII/Nanaki's eye scaring). Her brother is more like a friendly dog than a wolf. He likes to play fetch and do tricks for treats. Unlike his sister, he'll jump on you and lick your face so much it hurts. He's also a coward so he doesn't have any scaring whatsoever.

So without further ado, let's start the fic!

* * *

Dante sat at his desk like he normally does: feet on his desk and magazine on his head. He was being pelted in the head with apples and oranges by Maria, who was trying to get him to, in her words "Get the fuck up and fix the damn microwave". He moved the magazine from the top of his head so his eyes were visible. He grumbled some inaudible curse words, glared back at her (she was glaring...wait...she always looks like that... shot), and got up to go and fix whatever the problem was.

A few seconds later, an explosion was heard and the rest of the team (all of which were on the 2nd floor) looked up from what they were doing and looked at each other and they started to bet which one set it up the trap, Kyrie, Nero, and Virgil bet it was Maria while the rest of them bet Dante was to blame. Losers were to wear a maid outfit for a week (not counting missions).

They all cambered down the stairs to see who was fried. When the got down to the 1st floor, they were greeted with a smirking Maria and a semi-fried Dante. "Damnit! I thought that we would win this time!" cursed Lady. "I'll get the outfits..." Lucia added disdainfully.

"Well, Dante? Aren't you going to get dressed?" Maria chuckled. "Fine," he grumbled and went upstairs. Before the remaining three could ask what that was about, the phone rang. Nero and Maria lunged for the phone, but both were pulled back by Virgil while Kyrie got the phone.

"Devil May Cry, how may we help you?" she asked politely into the phone. After a minute or two, she put down the phone, and looked at Virgil, Nero, Maria and the now maidifid Trish and Lady. And judging by the cursing, Lucia was helping Dante with something.

"Sin Scissors and Sin Scythes have been reported by The Daily Bugle office building," she said loudly so hopefully Lucia and Dante could hear. "There are about twenty-four of them eighteen Scissors, six Scythes." she added.

Virgil, Nero, and Maria were already out the door. "Eh, they can handle it by themselves," Trish said nodding to the door. Before Lady or Kyrie could reply, Dante came down the stairs in a maid costume, extra frilly.

And even about a mile away and over the loud roar of their motorcycles, Maria, Virgil and Nero could hear the girls' laughter as strong as they would have heard it if they were there.

* * *

So, did you like it? It's my first DMC fic so, um...yeah. You will get to see the fight **if** you review. Why? Because I'm evil, Nyah!

And there's the Spiderman reference in the chapter. I'll explain that in chapter two.

So long!


End file.
